the weathered attractiveness of mcgruff

Either yesterday or today, somebody said out of the blue at work that in a recent poll, 80% of the adult population recognizes McGruff the Crime Dog. 70%ish think he's "cool." I fished around for exact stats today, but couldn't really find any. Most non-profit organizations should be green with jealousy.

What makes this McGruff so cool? What's he got that, say, Smokey the Bear doesn't have? Well, if you take a look at Smokey, he's got a potbelly going on. He's obese, that thing. And can he prevent forest fires with his Billy Bob Jones' jeans and shovel? He sure can. He just can't look good doing it. In that particular second picture of Smokey fronting a legitimate national issue-turned-scary neo-fascist propaganda ("This Shameful waste WEAKENS AMERICA"...along with Arabs, out-sourcing to India and Ann Coulter) by standing before the flames of death with a sullen, generic look on his face, Smokey seems just scary. Like your mom, after she finds out you fed the green beans to the dog. Finally, it has never been clear to me why Smokey holds a shovel. No way that's going to quell the monstrous conflagration behind him. Am I missing something? Just wondering.

In contrast, McGruff is he-man, alpha dog, a weathered man of crime-preventing wisdom. He's gruff, he's inoffensive and everyone loves dogs. Just look at that chiseled dog face. There are signs of wrinkling and old age, but I'll bet McGruff is as persistent as the buff 60-year old ex-military man who jogs miles around the neighborhood. If McGruff were a man, he'd be a cross between General Wesley Clark and Ice-T. Authoritative and mellowed. McGruff distinguishes himself from other dogs because he has digits, and more importantly a thumb and an index finger. He's properly personified, now that he can point at YOU. Yes, YOU. McGruff has enduring fashion sense, because cops wearing trenchcoats is still a staple on Law and Order. It also makes him a little mysterious. What's behind the trenchcoat? When did he start wearing it? What does he hide behind it? Maybe it isn't for us to know.