Wednesday, June 6, 2007

the weathered attractiveness of mcgruff





Either yesterday or today, somebody said out of the blue at work that in a recent poll, 80% of the adult population recognizes McGruff the Crime Dog. 70%ish think he's "cool." I fished around for exact stats today, but couldn't really find any. Most non-profit organizations should be green with jealousy.

What makes this McGruff so cool? What's he got that, say, Smokey the Bear doesn't have? Well, if you take a look at Smokey, he's got a potbelly going on. He's obese, that thing. And can he prevent forest fires with his Billy Bob Jones' jeans and shovel? He sure can. He just can't look good doing it. In that particular second picture of Smokey fronting a legitimate national issue-turned-scary neo-fascist propaganda ("This Shameful waste WEAKENS AMERICA"...along with Arabs, out-sourcing to India and Ann Coulter) by standing before the flames of death with a sullen, generic look on his face, Smokey seems just scary. Like your mom, after she finds out you fed the green beans to the dog. Finally, it has never been clear to me why Smokey holds a shovel. No way that's going to quell the monstrous conflagration behind him. Am I missing something? Just wondering.

In contrast, McGruff is he-man, alpha dog, a weathered man of crime-preventing wisdom. He's gruff, he's inoffensive and everyone loves dogs. Just look at that chiseled dog face. There are signs of wrinkling and old age, but I'll bet McGruff is as persistent as the buff 60-year old ex-military man who jogs miles around the neighborhood. If McGruff were a man, he'd be a cross between General Wesley Clark and Ice-T. Authoritative and mellowed. McGruff distinguishes himself from other dogs because he has digits, and more importantly a thumb and an index finger. He's properly personified, now that he can point at YOU. Yes, YOU. McGruff has enduring fashion sense, because cops wearing trenchcoats is still a staple on Law and Order. It also makes him a little mysterious. What's behind the trenchcoat? When did he start wearing it? What does he hide behind it? Maybe it isn't for us to know.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

first day of work + the recovery of my faith in humanity

Today was my first day of work at the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC); it was a summer internship that I nabbed very late in the game. I will say that not having any sort of job lined up for the summer was starting to wear on my self-esteem, especially since I've been employed continuously since I was 16. I filled out more applications for odd jobs in Farragut, Dupont, Rockville and Bethesda. Anything! I'd take anything! I walked into one restaurant in Dupont Circle after I saw a big sign advertising their "Singing Servers!" If there were to be a perfect job, it could very well be that. However, they, like all other people, never called back. I also applied to a non-profit bookstore (whatever that means), and it was a pain in the ass to get there, but they didn't call back either. They all want retail or restaurant experience. Well, there's something I don't have-- maybe someone could donate me some? Really, being a college student doesn't have any relevance in the retail world. It doesn't mean anything if you're an honors student, or even a nice and bubbly honors student :-(, Baskin Robbins will do you no favors. It was a nice surprise to get this internship though, and I don't at all think I'm settling.

So today was the first day of work. I'll be working Mon-Wed from 9-5. It's reasonable, I think. I don't think I should be as young as I am and cooped up in an office all day. The summer goes by excruciatingly slow in an office. Last summer, I worked in an office only two blocks down and worked eight hours a day, all five days of the week. They were paying $8.50/hr, which is amazing money for a non-profit and the most I've ever made. Hell, I was ready to work seven days a week for that kind of money, and this past semester in my Intro to MicroEcon class, I found that there's indeed a name for this phenomenon. It's called the Work-Leisure model. The more money you make, the more expensive it is when you go on vacation. Naturally, you won't be calling in sick much. The office is in a great location, right across from the Farragut North metro. (They're moving to Crystal City near the Pentagon in the fall, though.) However, no Metrocheks, no using computers for personal email, Facebook, Myspace, or to stream any kind of video or audio. This is entirely draconian. If you work from 9-5 and have to sleep by 11pm to get a good night's sleep so you can get up at 7:15 again, you have about 6 hours of personal time a day. Normal people have to cook, take care of the kids, run errands (and exercise to lower the risk of heart attack!) When do they get the time? I'm not liking the real world. And I'm extremely resentful of not being able to stream music or Facebook in my free time.

But I still have faith in humanity. Last Friday, I went out with friends to White Flint Mall (Borders, Bertucci's), and then out to a movie. By the time we got to the movies, I realized I didn't have my ID wallet with me. It's one of those things you see college students swinging around with their college's name printed all over the lanyard. It wasn't in the car, and it wasn't in either store when I called. I was horribly afraid and resentful towards the universe. I'd finally gotten my permit again! (Yes, I'm 18 and have a permit.) And before I could drive it was gone. Fucking Spiritus Mundi. I tried recreating a possible pickpocketing. It just couldn't happen. My purse was too long; no way could anybody reach into that and pick it out. Besides, why would you want to pickpocket a college student? I have maybe $300 in there. But I got it in the mail today, in an envelope with a heck of a lot of stamps. Today, I want to thank my Good Samaritan, who I believe may be a teenage girl or a youngish woman (only girls have fatsy, cutesy handwriting like that.) Thank you.

I also found $16 lying on one of the shelves of milk at the grocery store today. I pocketed it. I know, I know.